What Do You See?

I’ll tell you what I see.

Many people are feeling uneasy about the current international protests and laser focus on racism. This article may touch a nerve for some, but the intention is to be revealing. Try to have an open mind and resist being defensive. Racism has many layers and this piece will highlight a few I’ve seen uncovered recently.

A close white friend of mine showed me this image from the Instagram page of Hilaria Baldwin, writer and wife of actor, Alec Baldwin. When she and I have shared posts or news stories in the past, we sometimes shared our opinions too. She didn’t give an opinion on this one. But, I had an immediate one and shared it.

First, what do you see?

There is not a right or wrong answer; no one is going to check your thoughts. Be honest with yourself. It’s important. I’m hoping some people will have a break through today just by analyzing this simple visual.

After reacting to this image, I scanned Baldwin’s complete Instastory, and noticed she was expressing disappointment in some followers reacting negatively to her posts. She seemed upset people were not happy about her Black Lives Matter advocacy and struggled to understand why. She felt she was showing love and understanding; what was the problem? The backlash and confusion she faced reminded me of conversations I’ve had with white friends. Many of them retreat, feeling their “charity” unappreciated, the anger too much. Others ask for help, wanting to understand. This image gave me a tool to explain the conflict. So, I seized an opportunity to build a bridge, resisting my own frustrations to help.

This image says a lot to me. It says almost everything about racism.

First, I don’t need a white woman to carry me. I am strong and can take care of myself. In fact, I’ve carried the burdens of my entire family on my shoulders for generations. We all know that black women have had to clean white homes, raise white children, and work to build white businesses for nothing in return. White Americans did not share economic benefits with us, inflicting violence upon our families, to build even more for themselves. Once “freed,” black people still did not have basic civil rights, much less equal rights. And today, the men in our lives face incarceration at a significantly greater rate than white men because of systems created and manipulated by white Americans. Black women manage tough terrain all the time by ourselves, which is a path designed by white people to slow our progress and continue building white greatness.

So, why would a white person think we need them to carry us now?

If anything, we shouldn’t trust white people at all. Yet. Through our struggles, black women have acquired great skills, talents, and strengths, always problem solving to survive. And yes, we are tired any given day because the journey takes a toll, but we refuse to give up and be satisfied with white American leftovers. We think more of ourselves. We know we are made for something great because our faith has taught us something better lies ahead. We walk by faith knowing our challenges are designed for our ultimate good even when our sight shows us something horribly worse. We rest, hope and pray, keep working and problem solving around our obstacles, and repeat.

We don’t need to be carried. We need white people to walk beside us without tripping us.

We need white Americans to not put obstacles in our way or weights on our backs, all which slows us down. Listen to when we share our struggles and let’s work together to fix it. When we are not in the room, point out the inequalities in the systems which only benefit white Americans. When the inequities are exposed, they make black Americans look cheated and white Americans look like the cheaters. Black people have the same needs as white people, and under the law, the same rights. Unequal, legal systems make black lives more difficult, created and sustained by white Americans.

White Americans don’t have to always “show” the world what they are doing to help black people. Just do it. Time will reveal the real effort to balance injustice. We need measurable actions, not just words. Former Super Bowl Champion coach, Tony Dungy said, “My mother use to say, excellence that feels that it has to be proclaimed, by the mere fact of its proclamation, admits the doubt of its existence.” Black people know that our experiences haven’t changed enough, so performative acts of support don’t square. Who is it really serving, if not us? Attention and awareness of the issues, the donations, and calls to action, help. But, this is the patchwork approach. These temporary fixes have been done for many years now. And, here we are. Still. Racism thriving in America.

Structural change is crucial. The work done on the surface is diminished and proven ineffective when almost 60% of white women vote for a President who has shown to be the single greatest threat to all of our progress. If white Americans really want to help, they shouldn’t just show it with one-time donations to a criminal defense fund, support changes in the criminal justice system which were not created to be equal. With a white person’s economic and leadership privilege gained on the backs of black people, influence decision-makers to change the systems that keep black people down. That is how you use your white privilege.

The image makes me feel like a circus act on center stage. It is patronizing. Like white people usurping this moment to show everyone they have a black friend and what they are doing for black people. Our struggles have been documented throughout history and it’s often very painful reliving them to help white people learn. Racism is not new to us. It appears that it is new to white people. Black people do not know all the reasons why white people hate us after all these years. Our culture is not racist. Black people believe in the constitution, built by white Americans, which states equal rights and justice for all.

We need white Americans to discuss their culture of racism amongst themselves. Talk with family, friends and co-workers about the history. Call out racism and be accountable. Break the cycle and teach white children to not spread hate. Many people will be open and honest. Others will remain silent. Black Americans are moving forward and have had success in spite of our challenges. We don’t need or want pity from anyone. It’s actually more insulting and dehumanizing. I saw a tweet explaining this point perfectly. It was posted by a man named Dwayne Reed. He tweeted, “white supremacy won’t die until white people see it as a white issue to solve rather than a black issue they need to empathize with.”

Black people have been living racism our whole lives. But, there are still too many white people only seeing it now because it is reflecting back on them. Murders, mass killings, sexual abuse, corruption, lies, coverups, bullying, hateful words and painful silence paints an unflattering picture of white America. And, the discomfort white people feel propels them towards finding a fast cure. Global awareness of white fragility is more than what white people can handle. There isn’t a vaccine to end racism. Sorry. It’s not going to happen in my lifetime. It may get worse before it gets better. It all depends on how fast white people understand what black people already know. Our lives are fueled by change, though most people prefer stability. But, if white America does not have the courage to shake it up, necessary and lasting change will never happen.

My friend still hasn’t responded to my interpretation of this picture. I really can’t wait for us to finally talk about it; she should know by now I won’t judge.

White people need to summon the courage and admit the truth about racism in America. Time will only tell if they are committed. Until then, we all will continue to feel uneasy and America will not reach its greatest potential.